Unkle Munky Pg 133
*Artist - Prodigy. *Song - Take me to The Hospital. *Videos prone to removal. ---- Homework Corner This week: Veal. Mark from Wrexham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Where does veal come from? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Mark, Veal comes from the butcher's shop. Mark replies - What the fuc...? ---- Unhappy Birthday Debbie from Stoke asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you manage to speak to my estranged boyfriend with regards to my birthday present? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Debbie, I have indeed spoken to your estranged boyfriend about said matter. He assures me that he never promised to buy you a little red sports car and that you must have simply misheard him. He loves you very much and, knowing of your fondness to jog, simply assumed that a little red sports bra would fit the bill. It seems quite obvious to me that your expectations regarding this matter were set far too high from the start! Good day! ---- Separated at Birth? ---- Mutha Phucker Ryan from Leeds asks - Dear Unkle Munky, How can I raise awareness of my Band 'Mutha Phucker' when none of the local venues will book us? I don't understand it. 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ryan, Have you considered a name change? Ryan replies - A name change? Why, what's wrong with Ryan? 'Unkle Munky says -' Oh fer phuck's sake... ---- Nana States She states the bleedin' obvious... Usually. This Week: '''Responsible Drinking. Nana States - Here are a few useful tips that are in keeping with the government's proposals to encourage responsible drinking. * Always take a sip from a freshly pulled pint before attempting to cross a heavily populated pub or club. * Make a note of your address and keep it in your pocket. This will help aid clearer communication between yourself and your taxi driver should you find yourself too pissed to talk. * Always drink from the side of the glass that is nearest to you. * Screaming your head off at the bar can be avoided by simply typing your order into the text editor of a mobile phone. * Projectile vomiting might indicate that your night is nearing its natural conclusion. Unkle Munky says -''' Ahem. Thank you Nana. Perhaps you should have a little nap now? ---- Attention! Abby from Gloucester asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My mum says that I am always looking for attention. What can I do to prove her wrong? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Abby, Why not prove your mother wrong by wearing a T-Shirt emblazoned with a slogan applicable to your cause? ---- Mary's Twitter 'Unkle Munky says -' Oh fer god's sake! ---- Eyesight Query Karl from Solihull asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that masturbating can harm your eyesight? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Karl, I fail to see how your masturbating can possibly harm my eyesight. You go for it, fella. Karl replies - What the fuc…? ---- Short Paws A short paws whilst Munky collects his thoughts and throws them underneath his bed with the rest of his porn. ---- Snow Way Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding snow? I suspect my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake. 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Warren, You're friend's impressive grasp of general knowledge is quite obviously hard for you to accept. I have been in contact with the British Board of Weather and can confirm that snowflakes were indeed rationed during World War Two. ---- Memo 'Unkle Munky says -' Mary, why did you deem it necessary to attach a picture of Channel Four news reader, Jon Snow, to the previous query? ''Ms. Mary Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Sorry, Munky. I thought it was Jon Snow who had been rationed during World War Two. My mistake.''' '''Unkle Munky says -' How Ridiculous! ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>> Munky's Twitterings>>>